Nightmares or Reality?
Last night I dreamt:
I think I was in a coma for four years. When I woke up, I was dressed and put into the middle of a residential area without warning, without purpose or direction. It was night. The wind kicked up a gust or two. The streets were filled with people, what I assumed to be, partying. Out of nowhere I hear this women scream," Their taking my baby"! I quickly looked around to see the back of a van open, a women on her knees in tears and a man concealing something in his arms. I didn't think twice about my actions. I ran towards the van that was opened and was quickly tackled to the hard cool ground by another man. We wrestled until I gained top position and struck him with all my strength repeatedly. The man struggled to say stop between flurries of fists to produce a baby. The very same baby I believed the van was trying to take. He gave me this baby in exhaustion and relief. I rolled from on top of him clutching the child when the mother hovered over me in happy tears and thank you's. It was only then I noticed I was lying on grass, which I am allergic. Never felt an irritation nor a sudden urge to scratch. There were flashes of times, when I was a child, thinking I would not be able to roll around in the clean smelling fresh like spring grass as all the other kids but here I am lying in it comfortably, listening to the sound of the wind brushing against my cheeks and ears in a secret. I also noticed the stars, which I have not seen for years. They looked so close, bright and unfamiliar. To my left was a cluster of stars what resembled a constellation I remembered but I couldn't be sure. To my right floated an alien ship out in the open for everyone to see as if normality came in a different suit I too did not posses. I scrambled to my feet in a panic looking about to see if anyone noticed what I was witnessing. Everyone went about their evening like nothing was wrong, nothing had happened; I felt lost.
Some young girls got me to my feet, teens. One had short sassy hair in different colors with tight jeans, red, multicolored shoes. The other wore a simple sundress and converse, golden blonde hair, never saw her eye color. Gesturing me to follow them through the residential area into a parking lot not full of cars but full of other teens drinking, smoking advocating many other experimental aspects of their brain. There was an element of fear, excitement and loneliness wrapped into my gut swarming with the butterflies. I remember holding on to the railing as we began to walk up the concrete steps to where...I don't really know. Something tells me to change gears and go the other way, I listened. The teens didn't protest just giggled, as teens do, escorting me in the other direction as I wished. None of this seemed odd to me, in fact, theses small exchanges between the teens and I were quite pleasant in a unverbalized understanding type of way.
I could hear the scuffs being born underneath the shoes of those who walked heavy, my gudes to paradise. I could smell the rank stench of cigarettes lingering in the air once so sweet like freshly cut grass to toxic carcinogens of a long memory ago. Down this path and that we went. Felt like we were searching but not wanting to find anything in particular. Arriving at a giant doorway; Men walked through speaking this language I have never heard of or could comprehend, they looked stern. Handcuffed the teens and tried to handcuff me but I fought. I simply could not allow someone to put me into shackles without knowing what I had done or read me my rights, if I had them. Through pushing and shoving I found myself standing infront of a large man wearing a ridiculous head dress trying to be intimidating. The guards from behind desperately trying to put me into cuffs were sorely mistaken when forced came to past. I had no other reason than to defend myself from these people. " Human", says the tall man. " Very interesting indeed". Smoke came from his outreached hand into my face and sleep became my friend once more.
I woke to a very nice bed, dressed...again( really creepy to be dressed by someone else and not know where the clothes are from nor if I was fondled), in a room fit for a Grandmother. The smell of old people. It's almost like the smell of dying without the sweet wafting of almonds. Heavy comforters on the twin bed. Shag rug old enough to be someones first mistake in the 70's. At the foot of the bed was a brown door opened as if to say, " Won't you"? I gathered myself and began my decent towards the lovely noise of talking. The staircase wrapped around a large pillar which held the roof of the house up with ease. At the foot of the staircase was a window. Inside the window was my ex boyfriend Manny who looked upon me through the window like a friendly stranger. My gaze broke when I heard a warm voice tell me to come into the kitchen. Once I completed the staircase I saw Mrs. Minjarez standing in the kitchen cooking. I ran to her and gave her the biggest hug. I thought I was all a lone in this place of weird familiar coincidence. I thought I would never see anyone I knew or find out where I was but then...she wasn't hugging me back. I pulled away from her in horror. she said," I haven't been hugged like that in ages. another voice came from behind me saying," What is she doing to you"? Mrs. Minjarez said," It's called a hug. Humans use to do these as a greeting or out of love or just because it felt good". I was shocked! To have people talk about your kind, looking like your kind and mocking their simple appreciations. As I looked to the voice I heard stood a lovely girl with bright eyes, tamed hair, great skin and soothing smile. the kitchen smelled like cookies were bing baked but I didn't see what was inside the oven. It was a yellow kitchen with 50's wall papper out dated in need of a shine. Not just the girl sat at a circuler table but other members of the family corralled around to see the human, me.
I tried to sit down but my legs would move. I tried to collapse onto the floor but my body wouldn't go wehre I told it. I believe I had the look of terror on my face because the young girl came to me with a card. A card that I designed for Manny's sister years ago. My handprint. My glitter and words all on, in and around the card. Young girl presents this gift to me and I start to cry like three year old. The whole house went silent. Mrs. Minjarez sound astonished when she said, "My word. i haven't seen anyone do that in centuries". The way she said it seemed like she was hold her breathe in a way while holding onto her apron. I continued to sob into myself, imploding violently shaking my head back and forth. Young girl asked what I was doing and the reply sound more shock and in awe like this was a new discovery. " She's crying", says Mrs. Minjarez. I then slumped onto the floor, legs giving out, holding the paper like a precious stone. These people stood there watching what I would do next. Mrs. Minjarez stated, so matter of fact like; " Emotions were deleted from our systems years ago, simply no use for misplaced energy. We were gifted certain things to adapt to this environment to survive and thrive as a normal human would. When you were in a coma, you were forgotten. Last minuet they decided to update your system to resemble ours but I see now that they kept your emotions and many other human traits, outstanding".
I woke up feeling lonely, left behind and scared. I didn't think I was alive today. It felt like I was waking from the true comaI had suffered many years ago. I could get out of bed in fear I would find something from my dream. I didn't want to wake my husband thinking he would not be who he is. Worst of all, I thought that this was death playing a cruel joke to make me go insane continuously questioning my mortality. It was a rough dream. I have these types of dreams often but I do't share them. Fear that I am not really awake haunts me as well, I don';t share that either. I have to get to a point where I can be okay with my living breathing life and my living breathing dreams. I hope I find answers to the riddles and puzzles that are my dreams.
GOOD NIGHT!
I think I was in a coma for four years. When I woke up, I was dressed and put into the middle of a residential area without warning, without purpose or direction. It was night. The wind kicked up a gust or two. The streets were filled with people, what I assumed to be, partying. Out of nowhere I hear this women scream," Their taking my baby"! I quickly looked around to see the back of a van open, a women on her knees in tears and a man concealing something in his arms. I didn't think twice about my actions. I ran towards the van that was opened and was quickly tackled to the hard cool ground by another man. We wrestled until I gained top position and struck him with all my strength repeatedly. The man struggled to say stop between flurries of fists to produce a baby. The very same baby I believed the van was trying to take. He gave me this baby in exhaustion and relief. I rolled from on top of him clutching the child when the mother hovered over me in happy tears and thank you's. It was only then I noticed I was lying on grass, which I am allergic. Never felt an irritation nor a sudden urge to scratch. There were flashes of times, when I was a child, thinking I would not be able to roll around in the clean smelling fresh like spring grass as all the other kids but here I am lying in it comfortably, listening to the sound of the wind brushing against my cheeks and ears in a secret. I also noticed the stars, which I have not seen for years. They looked so close, bright and unfamiliar. To my left was a cluster of stars what resembled a constellation I remembered but I couldn't be sure. To my right floated an alien ship out in the open for everyone to see as if normality came in a different suit I too did not posses. I scrambled to my feet in a panic looking about to see if anyone noticed what I was witnessing. Everyone went about their evening like nothing was wrong, nothing had happened; I felt lost.
Some young girls got me to my feet, teens. One had short sassy hair in different colors with tight jeans, red, multicolored shoes. The other wore a simple sundress and converse, golden blonde hair, never saw her eye color. Gesturing me to follow them through the residential area into a parking lot not full of cars but full of other teens drinking, smoking advocating many other experimental aspects of their brain. There was an element of fear, excitement and loneliness wrapped into my gut swarming with the butterflies. I remember holding on to the railing as we began to walk up the concrete steps to where...I don't really know. Something tells me to change gears and go the other way, I listened. The teens didn't protest just giggled, as teens do, escorting me in the other direction as I wished. None of this seemed odd to me, in fact, theses small exchanges between the teens and I were quite pleasant in a unverbalized understanding type of way.
I could hear the scuffs being born underneath the shoes of those who walked heavy, my gudes to paradise. I could smell the rank stench of cigarettes lingering in the air once so sweet like freshly cut grass to toxic carcinogens of a long memory ago. Down this path and that we went. Felt like we were searching but not wanting to find anything in particular. Arriving at a giant doorway; Men walked through speaking this language I have never heard of or could comprehend, they looked stern. Handcuffed the teens and tried to handcuff me but I fought. I simply could not allow someone to put me into shackles without knowing what I had done or read me my rights, if I had them. Through pushing and shoving I found myself standing infront of a large man wearing a ridiculous head dress trying to be intimidating. The guards from behind desperately trying to put me into cuffs were sorely mistaken when forced came to past. I had no other reason than to defend myself from these people. " Human", says the tall man. " Very interesting indeed". Smoke came from his outreached hand into my face and sleep became my friend once more.
I woke to a very nice bed, dressed...again( really creepy to be dressed by someone else and not know where the clothes are from nor if I was fondled), in a room fit for a Grandmother. The smell of old people. It's almost like the smell of dying without the sweet wafting of almonds. Heavy comforters on the twin bed. Shag rug old enough to be someones first mistake in the 70's. At the foot of the bed was a brown door opened as if to say, " Won't you"? I gathered myself and began my decent towards the lovely noise of talking. The staircase wrapped around a large pillar which held the roof of the house up with ease. At the foot of the staircase was a window. Inside the window was my ex boyfriend Manny who looked upon me through the window like a friendly stranger. My gaze broke when I heard a warm voice tell me to come into the kitchen. Once I completed the staircase I saw Mrs. Minjarez standing in the kitchen cooking. I ran to her and gave her the biggest hug. I thought I was all a lone in this place of weird familiar coincidence. I thought I would never see anyone I knew or find out where I was but then...she wasn't hugging me back. I pulled away from her in horror. she said," I haven't been hugged like that in ages. another voice came from behind me saying," What is she doing to you"? Mrs. Minjarez said," It's called a hug. Humans use to do these as a greeting or out of love or just because it felt good". I was shocked! To have people talk about your kind, looking like your kind and mocking their simple appreciations. As I looked to the voice I heard stood a lovely girl with bright eyes, tamed hair, great skin and soothing smile. the kitchen smelled like cookies were bing baked but I didn't see what was inside the oven. It was a yellow kitchen with 50's wall papper out dated in need of a shine. Not just the girl sat at a circuler table but other members of the family corralled around to see the human, me.
I tried to sit down but my legs would move. I tried to collapse onto the floor but my body wouldn't go wehre I told it. I believe I had the look of terror on my face because the young girl came to me with a card. A card that I designed for Manny's sister years ago. My handprint. My glitter and words all on, in and around the card. Young girl presents this gift to me and I start to cry like three year old. The whole house went silent. Mrs. Minjarez sound astonished when she said, "My word. i haven't seen anyone do that in centuries". The way she said it seemed like she was hold her breathe in a way while holding onto her apron. I continued to sob into myself, imploding violently shaking my head back and forth. Young girl asked what I was doing and the reply sound more shock and in awe like this was a new discovery. " She's crying", says Mrs. Minjarez. I then slumped onto the floor, legs giving out, holding the paper like a precious stone. These people stood there watching what I would do next. Mrs. Minjarez stated, so matter of fact like; " Emotions were deleted from our systems years ago, simply no use for misplaced energy. We were gifted certain things to adapt to this environment to survive and thrive as a normal human would. When you were in a coma, you were forgotten. Last minuet they decided to update your system to resemble ours but I see now that they kept your emotions and many other human traits, outstanding".
I woke up feeling lonely, left behind and scared. I didn't think I was alive today. It felt like I was waking from the true comaI had suffered many years ago. I could get out of bed in fear I would find something from my dream. I didn't want to wake my husband thinking he would not be who he is. Worst of all, I thought that this was death playing a cruel joke to make me go insane continuously questioning my mortality. It was a rough dream. I have these types of dreams often but I do't share them. Fear that I am not really awake haunts me as well, I don';t share that either. I have to get to a point where I can be okay with my living breathing life and my living breathing dreams. I hope I find answers to the riddles and puzzles that are my dreams.
GOOD NIGHT!
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